Voices for Recovery
My life was spinning out of control. You couldn’t tell by looking at me. I had a three-bedroom house with the person I loved, a great job, and a nice car; but I was miserable.
I felt like two people: one who didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be, and the other a completely together person that I let everyone see. I spent years, including many after I sobered up, trying to find myself in other people. I placed my self-worth in the hands of others.
I drank excessively. I didn’t want to feel anything, except that I was in control of my circumstances. In the most sincere moment of my life, I said to the universe, “I can’t do this anymore.”
When I arrived on the doorstep of recovery, I was a broken woman. My self-respect was in tatters, and my spirit was as broken as the bottles left in my wake. The most costly price was the jumbo-size crater in my soul.
In sobriety, it was as if a brand new notebook and a box of drawing pencils were laid in front of me. People told me I could draw the life of my dreams. One by one, I picked up the pencils and began to draw and write my life. It wasn’t easy at first, and the life I drew then doesn’t exactly resemble the life I sketch now.
I am my own, proud woman in recovery for 21 years. I care for myself and do my best to maintain my integrity with myself and others. I nurture my spiritual life and grow daily by practicing positive principles.
I am so very grateful for this precious gift of sobriety.