At age 37, I received my second DUI and realized I was living my life the same way as I was at age 18. I had become a daily “social” drinker and a habitual cocaine user. I was a high-functioning alcoholic who could sustain a job, although I moved jobs and cities every few years just to keep up appearances. I had different groups of friends, and I had different lies and stories I told these friends. After my second DUI, I waited six long weeks to get my butt to a meeting. The reality was I didn’t want to give up my best friends–alcohol and cocaine. I didn’t want to grow up. My life was spinning out of control, and for once I didn’t hit the snooze button.
By the time I went to my first meeting, I had lost my fight to rationalize my poor life choices that I had been making. What I heard in that first meeting was HOPE. I left that meeting and drank for a week before I decided to give the sobriety thing a shot. It was complete blind faith. I walked into my second AA meeting, and I haven’t looked back since. I did what the elders told me to do: 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, work the steps, and keep coming back.
My life got better. I didn’t get any more DUIs, and I knew where I was when I awoke in the morning. My first year of my recovery was like walking out of a black and white movie and into a Technicolor sphere of possibilities. I wasn’t imprisoned by alcohol and drugs anymore. Life got challenging as I had to learn how to live without the crutch of alcohol or drugs. But people were there to help me, every step of the way. I was never alone, I never felt alone, and best of all, I liked being alone because I liked the person I was becoming.
I’m over 11 years sober now and I have a life beyond my wildest dreams. After being in California and spending time back east with family, my husband and I recently moved to south Florida, where I get to work from home for my corporate day job. I get to live the life I want to, and none of this would be possible If I wasn’t sober. I met my husband in recovery, and we get to walk this journey together and help others.
In November 2003, I was drunk and typing in my journal about how messed up my life was. I knew I needed help, but I was scared. In May 2004, I walked into a meeting and decided to try recovery with a fellowship of other people who had a life worth living–a life with no alcohol or drugs. A life that mattered. That drunken journal entry turned into a memoir that I launched via Kindle, “Last Call, A Memoir.”